Dusty Road That We Called Life

Sincere Repentance

2012-01-29T23:09:00.001+08:00

I seek forgiveness from Allah, the God for all creature

I seek forgiveness from Allah, from all the sins I've made

Oh Allah my Lord bestow rightful knowledge to me

And please acknowledge my deeds

O Lord You are my fortune giver

And accept my sincere repentance

Amin Ya Rabb

Dilemma

2012-01-29T02:01:00.000+08:00

Ya Allah,

Berikanlah aku pertunjuk,

Berikanlah aku jawapan,

Seandainya dia jodoh aku, tunjukanlah

Seandainya pula kata katanya hanya suatu mimpi, jauhkanlah dia dariku

Hambamu ini sesugguhnya tidak mampu

Tidak boleh menahan lagi rasa di dada,

Kamulah yang Maha Mengetahui,

Aku mohon berilahku pertunjuk.

Amin

Good OR Bad ?

2012-01-28T20:58:00.000+08:00

I am sorry for not posting for long. Had been ill lately and busy with schools and also to find myself.

2011 had left us all and now it's 2012. Time passed by so fast that I did not even feel it moving. Anyway few days ago, I came across a post that was posted by a friend of mine in Facebook.

She and a few others commented :
"Those girls who are not wearing any Hijab is worst of a person that those who wears it."

Well that it bugs me as she's saying that girls without Hijab is bad? I mean who are we to judge right?Good or Bad we can only see it at the surface of a person but not the heart. Only Allah S.W.T knows what is in the heart. However there's nothing wrong for her to say that wearing Hijab is better as it is what Allah S.W.T ask us to do.

Cover our aurats. Plus the comments that were on the same post left me with a lot of question.

"At least those girls who wears tight clothing and wears the Hijab is way better than those girls who wears tight clothing but not wearing the Hijab."

Isn't Hijab is to prevent us from fitnah?
Hijab is to cover our aurats.
Tight clothing reveals the shape of the body.
Shape of the body attract guys.
Attracting guys brings in Fitnah.

Conclusion: It's the same as you are not wearing a Hijab. Wearing it with tight clothing, for fashion don't make any different to those who are not wearing Hijab.

Whatever it is, I just leave the judgement to God. Whatever is shared here is just my personal view on the comment made. I believe everyone have their own opinions on things and I am just sharing mine. No hard feelings aite.

Problematic world?? NO! We are!

2011-07-30T09:04:00.001+08:00

Verily,in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest.-'(Qur’an 13:28)

Life, I don't know what's that for sure. I only lived for 17 years young. Yet even if you live for million years, you wouldn't know what life is. But for sure we know it has up's and down and it is just temporary. Problem will always be there. One after another.

I believe that those problem are ways that Allah SWT test our iman. So let's not take it as a problem but something that benefit us. I am not in a place to say anything, I admit but this is just what I feel and think it's best for me.

I kind of hate it when people curse their life for being so problematic and saying it's unfair.No offence, but that just show how much we remember Allah SWT. He won't test us more than what we could handle. All the problem we face are something we could solve with loads of patience. On top of that, after every hardship we go through we will get a sweet end. If the sweet end is not here then it will be in Paradise InsyAllah.

It's hard, we are just human. In hardship, people always look for Allah SWT. When you're experiencing no hardship then we have to be careful. Be thankful and grateful for He is always there listening to every word and prayers. He gave us life, He gave us shelter, He gave us everything when we ourselves are NOTHING.

Life is unfair?? Different people have different way of life than us. So stop comparing. They might look beautiful but you may never know what's hidden. That is between them and Allah SWT. Now this is our own life. When something awful hit us, it's unfair? But when something nice is fair? NO! Don't we get the sweetness of life, we get to taste the awful one first. Before we get a diploma, we have to study, we have to take test before we get that diploma. Isn't that the same?

Allah the ALL-MIGHTY!

2011-07-28T23:50:00.000+08:00

Assalamualaikum, Time pass fast and Ramadhan is just end of this week. I am extremely excited about it and I can't wait to have an Iftar with beloved friends and family. Sitting on my bed tonight, thinking about the things that I went through. It's just wonderful and beautiful. I am really disappointed with myself though. Allah SWT had done so much. He showed me a lot. He gave me guidance. He gave me my life. Yet I'm here not knowing much about Him and His teaching. I hope this year Ramadhan would be a turning point for me. I want to learn Arab. I want to read the Al-Quran. I want to know and understand Islam. I want to be a better muslim than I am. So much thing that happen to me which Allah SWT had lay beautifully. Not a word can describe the feeling I feel now.

Memories~

2011-05-29T09:01:00.002+08:00

Funny isn't it?

Memories that I kept kept me from going forward.

Yet the memories that I kept are those beautiful ones which I want to keep.

Life is so unpredictable.

Life is complicated for me.

I need Allah S.W.T in my life.

Guide me in everything I do.

Guide me for every choices I have to make.

As I am scared.

I feel so small in such a huge world.

With a lot of thing going around

I'm scared to face it but we are tied to time,

Which will force us to face it eventually.

Sweet Couples

2011-03-10T20:55:00.001+08:00

I am so happy seeing Ain and Eddy & Ahmad and Shu together…

If there were such thing as the cutest couple of the year, I will surely vote for them. I had been listening stories from them and Ya Allah… I am just so touched and happy for them… There’s commitment, understanding, give and take and not to forget sacrifices…

Keep it up you guys… =))

Wire all entangled;

2011-03-08T22:15:00.001+08:00

Hey bloggie, I know it had been quite some time since I last update you. And what I can predict is that not many people would come to take a look at this dusty blog. HAHA!

Anyway tonight I feel so awfully lonely. It’s not much of a different. Whether I am with someone or I am not, I just feel all lonely. The whole day I spent in my room, praying that this loneliness will just fade away. It’s like killing me inside. I know I have him but I just don’t want to be a nuisance to him. I know he may say no but it’s just my feeling. Like the way he treats me.

Probably I am asking too much, it’s not him its me. I swear now I just want to break down and cry. I know no one is there. Even if they say they are, I just could not trust them. Action speaks louder than words. The only one that I can depend is Allah S.W.T. The emptiness is back and all I feel is like killing myself like better off dead. However I must be strong I cant let this affect me.. No mar no… *slap self*

I don’t know if I can do this alone… Ya Allah…

2011-01-06T00:09:00.002+08:00

Ya Allah,

Please give me strength. Ease the pain in me. It is always me witnessing the things that happen in the family. From dad, mum and abang. It hurts me seeing all those things. Not only I am the witness but I am also the one whom they pour all their anger to. I can’t say much. I can’t do anything. I have no where to go. No one to turn to. No one to hear me out. No one to understand the pain that I feel. No one. If can, I would want to cry every single minute to get rid of this pain but I don’t want because I want to be strong for Mama. I also don’t want to affect those around me. Since they throw everything to me, I don’t want to throw it back at their face. They had enough problem.

People say they know me, they understand me and they know what is going on in my life. Frankly they don’t. No matter how close you are to me, you still don’t. There’s just things that I keep to myself which you people won’t understand or more like don’t bother to take the initiative to understand or just too busy for me. It’s like I am a burden to you people. If I am please do say so and if having me around you people just embarrass you more do say. I won’t be mad or anything but I will give you that space that you want. Just text me if you need me and just let me be when you’re done using me. Please don't pretend like you people care when you just don't. It will just kill me more.

I am ok. I am used to these things going on in my life. I’ve seen a lot and I know there would be more to come. Ya Allah give me strength to face all these... I can’t take it anymore and I feel as though I am loosing everything. Please Ya Allah, I don’t want to loose my strength. I don’t want to give up. I know I have you. You understand me. Please give me more strength. Amin

I LOVE My Blog

2010-12-18T00:46:00.001+08:00

Hey afternoon! Now I am on my way to work! Took 65 because I would have a long journey which means I get to reflect more. Furthermore I am alone. Faris is tired and I understand, with training and studies. Just worried that he overwork and forget to eat.

Anyway I think something is really wrong with me. Am I still having this depression thing? I don’t like the feeling. I could just cry the whole day and night. For no reason I could just hate myself and even get upset and angry. It’s really frustrating. Each day passed I want to feel positive, I want to think positive but it’s hard.

That positive attitude of mine will eventually drain away. Just like that. The pain in me it’s hard to describe. It is unbearable. I want to keep to myself but it will kill me inside that’s why I have a blog. To share my day, my thoughts as well as my feeling that is kept from anyone or everyone. Not that I don’t have anyone to share it with only that I don’t want to be a burden to my family and fellow friends... Even Faris. Each one of them has their own problem I know. By telling mine to them would be a selfish thing to do

If only my blog is a living human I would be glad really. At time I get so lonely and empty inside. My blog as a living human is great because to my blog is the place all my thoughts and feeling. When I am alone I will type whatever comes to my mind.

Friends

2010-12-16T19:30:00.001+08:00

(Created when on my way home from work)

Assalamualaikum, well again another day just passed by and finally it is confirmed that 31st December is my last day of work at Massimo Dutti and sadly I am beginning to love the job. It is mainly not because of the pay but more of the satisfaction that I felt when serving some great customer.

Even some of the staff there are great like Melanie, a Chinese girl (I forgot her name but it start with R), Zairi, Melissa and Jeremy. They are great bunch of people. At least they make me feel welcome. Melanie is the best though. She's caring and really understanding if anyone wants to be a manager should be like her. Well she's nice and don't have the arrogant look. Oh ya! Who can forget Bianca the pretty one. She's sweet and really awesomely pretty. I love her hair. To me that's her best feature.

Today is the first day of sale at Massimo Dutti. Not bad well I guess. It is because it is on a weekday. Try having this sale on a weekend.... I can die I tell you. I guess I should do this often. I mean update my blog while in the bus. Well it's nice because in the bus, when I am all alone, it gives me the chance to reflect about my life as well as keep this dusty blog clean.

For today, what I reflect is that my life filled with a lot of wonderful people and what I do realize is what I would do without them. Be it family or friends. Even though I rarely talk to them but still I know them in one way or another. They had/have made an impact in my life. It’s either indirectly or directly. What I meant indirectly is that they teach me a valuable lesson through what they went through while directly is what i went through myself with that particular person.

All those experience with them actually make me what I am now. I am grateful to Allah S.W.T for all the great people I met. I pray that to all the people I know, that had made me the way I am would always be protected from any evil deed of human as well as syaitan. May Allah S.W.T forgive their sins and guide them to the right path. May Allah S.W.T also give them strength to go through the obstacle that was given to them. Amin

Especially to Ain, I thank you for being my friend for the whole of my secondary school life. Right now we are entering into a new life. It will never be the same we know it right. We would be busy with our own life. Especially after result is out. Like you said you want to continue working and me studying. Let’s try our best to keep this friendship going alright. I don’t want this friendship to end really. I owe you much and I am really going to miss you much. We did everything together. We are like to peas in a pod. Don’t want to lose you friend or should I call you my twin sister. No matter what happen, bear in mind that I will always be here for you alright?

Mum

2010-12-12T08:30:00.003+08:00

(Wrote this yesterday while on my way to work)

Ohh another day and now I am on my way to work. Well somehow today I feel lighter to go to work. Probably I have people around me supporting me and telling me that I can do it.

Also when I actually begin to count down the days that I would have left to work at this place. A lot of people that I know, the one that had make the most impact on me is my own Mother. I bet all my readers would agree with me.

Whenever I work I tend to think of her and even her words of encouragement. Before I went to work, she had somehow lighten the burden of going there. The touch of her hand on mine and also the kisses she gave me before going to work had made me feel positive about going to work. I don't know what I will do without her.

"Ya Allah, lindungilah Ibu dari segala kejahatan manusia dan juga syaitan, lindungilah Ibu dari sembarang penyakit dan juga malapetaka. Kepadamu Ya Allah aku bersyukur kerana Kamu telah kurniakanku seorang Ibu seperti dia. Kurangkanlah beban daripada ibuku. Berikanlah Ibu kekuatan untuk melalui cabaran yang telah Kamu berikan. Berikanlah ku kekuatan untuk melalui hidupku yang penuh dengan kesesakan dan cabaran dan ingatkanku dan suburkanlah cintaku kepadaMu Ya Allah. Amin"

Regret??

2010-12-01T20:45:00.001+08:00

It is impossible for a human living without the feeling of regrets unless they are heartless. Humans makes mistake. I make/made a lot of mistakes and I regret but to think about it, it is pointless to regret on something that had already happen. It's best we move on with life because we cant turn back time or redo the things that are done. Things always happen for a reason. Probably God will give us something better in the future if the current situation is bad. So let the past be a lesson so we won't repeat the same mistake in the present and the future. Look forward and be prepared for the future instead of regreting and looking back at the past and repeating the same mistake. Don't you think so?

hi there are u attch???

2010-11-30T00:20:00.001+08:00

yes i am =)

Ask me anything

hie!!noe me??they call me mr been there done that!!ahhaha....

2010-11-29T23:57:00.001+08:00

hahaha!! hi ermm i dont think soo.. hmm....

Ask me anything

Things Changing;

2010-11-27T01:47:00.000+08:00

Hey! I can't sleep right now so I decided to use my time to blog. As we grow up, time flew fast and you can barely see it moving. As for now, I thought I had just finished my N level paper and just got my first job last month and even just quit it a month ago. But without me realizing I am getting a new job and even finished my O levels paper and will be entering a new life ahead of me.

I will not go through life ahead alone but now with someone special and the one I cherish the most other than my parents of course is Faris. I know there would be a lot of obstacles ahead of us. I hope we could overcome it together. It’s you and me up against the world. I’ll try my best to be understandable, supportive and always being there for you.

I am sorry I am not perfect. I am not as rich as other girls. I am not as intelligent as other girl nor am I as beautiful as other girls. I know nothing about fashion and I am just a simple girl with no specific talent. Not in dancing. Not in cooking and more. Therefore I know I am actually not suitable for you who is my eyes is so perfect. Despite all that you still accept me and loved me and for that I thank you.

I want to wish us a Happy 1 month Anniversary may our relationship last forever and more. The journey does not end here. We still have a long way to go and no words can describe how much I loved you and how much you mean to me. I want to spend the rest of my life with you and only you.

Semoga Allah S.W.T merestui percintaan kita dan akan melindung percintaan kita dari segala kejahatan.

Lots of love<3<3

formspring.me

2010-11-26T20:54:00.001+08:00

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/MarAliIsmail

Trust Me, I'll Be Fine

2010-11-04T10:45:00.004+08:00

Mum, I know you're worried of losing me. I know I am the only girl that you have, I know you love me and would even climb the mountain, swim the ocean and do anything just to keep me safe from being hurt by others. But right now I just need you to trust me that I can take care of myself. I am now 17 and I want to learn life on my own. Life has its up and down and you cant always keep me from being hurt. I know you mean well, In life we sometimes have to learn the hard way And sometimes we have to fall to learn something new. You brought me up well mum You taught me what that needs to be taught. I promise you I will not do anything to bring the family name down. I will take care of myself and I want to make you proud of me Plus Mum, don't think what others says about us. If they hate us, let it be because we know we don't owe them any living. As long as we know that we did nothing wrong and mind our own business its fine mum. As long we are happy as a family, together its fine. Who are they to judge us mum? When they themselves are not perfect. Well no one are.

I love you Mum ♥ n Dad♥

13 Down and 2 More To Go

2010-11-04T01:38:00.002+08:00

Alright O level is finally here and I had not been blogging for ages I guess and loads happen. Well first of all I feel like theres no hope of entering Polytechnic. My papers, I don't really feel like i did my best nor I feel I would pass.

There will always be an alternative ways right. So probably I will go for ITE. Higher Nitec in Early Childhood and Education. Thats is all about my education life.

As for love life, I am now beginning to pick myself up from all those heartbreaks. It sucks to know the person whom you hope for moved on with another person without even you knowing about it. It hurt so much. Just by looking at their photos and facebook profile could be a huge pain on my heart. Probably mixture of jealousy and just anger.

That feeling of mine now long gone when a Man came into my life and he is now what I always have in my mind and my heart. He's always there for me and he understand me in a way other guys just don't. I will announce him as soon as O Level is over. I bet most people would be shocked with the change of my status soon. It had been 3 years since I had been in a relationship. It feels awkward but somehow I love the feeling of knowing someone is there to love us and give us moral support.

From the bottom of my heart;

2010-09-05T10:32:00.004+08:00

Ya Allah,

Please forgive my sins,
Please help me throughout my journey in life,
Please filled this empty heart of mine with joy and happiness that I used to feel,
Please guide me to the right path,
Please remind me of You always
Please make me someone useful to You and also everyone around me.
Please calm this heart of mine,
Please fill me with all the positive attitude and keep me away from all the bad attitude,
Please forgive my parent's sins and love them the way they love me.
Please take care of our Holy Quran from being burn,
Please guide all the Muslim in the world the right path which is your path,

I am grateful for what I have ,
Because I know all theses things can just be gone in a blink of an eye,
I am grateful for having a family,
Because without them there is no me,
I am grateful for having friends around me,
Because without them I would be lonely than I am now,
I am grateful for having the chance to see the whole world,
Because I get to see your beautiful creations which not all people are lucky enough to see,
I am grateful for the ups and down of life that You have written for me,
Because from all these ups and down of life had made me what I am now,
I am grateful for all those relationships that were made,
Because without that relationship, I won't know what is love, what is care and concern and I won't know how it feels like to be love, cared and concerned.
I am grateful for having the chance to meet Ramadhan for another year,
Because some people are unable to meet Ramadhan for another year but I still live to see Ramadhan again.

I know every second my time in this temporary world is decreasing,
I will have to meet death someday,
I hope I get to make a positive impact on everyone's life.
I hope the memories that I have in this world would stay,
I hope to become a better person,
I hope to be a good daughter to her parents,
I hope to be a good friend to my friends,
I hope to be a good sister to my brothers,
I hope to be a good wife to my husband in the future,
I also hope to be a good mother to my child in the future.

Insyallah

Indeed, You are the Most Merciful, Most Compassionate, Most Generous, Most Understanding, Most Forgiving and Most Everything in the heavens and the earth

Amin

Time Flies

2010-08-28T21:10:00.003+08:00

Another month fasting is here and soon will be leaving us. Well for raya preparation I did some baking of chocolate chip cookies. Yesterday I watched a documentary called "African E.R"

Just watching it I realize how I should be grateful to Allah S.W.T for all the things that he gave me and also my health wise. On that documentary it tells me about a woman who volunteered to be on board a ship which is actually a hospital. This ship gave free healthcare to its patient. This ship will only go to the most poorest country ever which is Africa.

When the woman stay at that ship, she saw a lot of people queuing up just to get the medical check up. All of them have terrible illness such as blindness and deform on any part of their body. The most saddest part is when the people that had lined up for the check up had been asked to turn back as the doctors cant do much. They can only pray for them. Plus those who were turn down are some still a child. Haizz...

Another news I heard from my madrasah friends from Al-Ansar is that my Madrasah teacher had passed away earlier this year. I was so shock till I myself unsure if it is real or not. I mean the last time I saw her, she was so active and strong. She got children and seemed happy. I don't know what to say or think. I mean I couldn't believe it.

What happened?

2010-08-07T21:17:00.002+08:00

Remember those days? Well I miss those days and really hope we could come back like we used to be. I know in life there's a lot of friendship problem and I thought problems are supposed to make us closer than before. However it looks like we are just drifting apart. Everyone makes mistake why not we just leave it behind and learn from it. Why not we forgive each others. I thought we are the Foursome, we are best friend... Why cant we just accept each other's mistake. Why are there secrets between us? Why don't we tell each other and take what was said and try to do something in a positive way? Why don't we understand one another? Why must we involve people other than us in our problem? We are 16 going 17, we are adult, why can't we solve things as how adult does? Why we don't meet each other and talk things and straighten things up? Why we let other people in other than the foursome interrupt the fun we had, the laughter we had? Don't you guys miss those times. Let's throw the negative and focus the positive. When we are in need of listening ears we are always there for one another. When we are bored, we went out together. We cheered for one another when one of us are down. Where's the love we had for each other. Fiza, Kirin, Ain, I miss those times, I miss you guys. Please I am begging you guys lets get back together. Don't wait till one of us is gone then we get back together. I don't want to be in that situation.

Circle & Hearts

2010-07-08T18:17:00.005+08:00

Finally Mother Tongue Oral examination is over and time to focus on other subject. Alhamdullilah. Love life for me now is not really something I waited for or find it important because I want to focus on my studies first. However I admit that I miss being loved by someone special, I miss being cared by someone special and I missed the touch of someone special.

Inside I feel so empty because I probably miss those things. Well I had those things before but now I lost it and it came back. When it came back now I know what I've been missing and I know its impossible. I want to be loved and when I am being love I don't want my name to be put in a Heart but I want it to be put in a Circle because if my name is on a Heart, it can break but Circle it will last forever.

Assalamualaikum

BLOOP! BLOOP!

2010-06-18T21:52:00.004+08:00

Great dad is talking to my sayang again. Well more like giving him a shock! Anyway my life had been great. However there is just something is missing in me. I don’t know what it is but I hope I figure it out soon and get rid of this emptiness.

During holiday I have been staying home and rot. Well until just now I had my appointment with my doctor. What I realize is that after for so long I stayed at home and rot, when I got out just now, I am like dragging myself. Seriously speaking I am so lazy to walk or even dress myself up. I need a haircut!!! Like I said I am lazy to step out to the outer world.

HAIR CUT? NO?? CUT SHORT?? NO?? CUT LAYERED V?? NO?? CUT JAPAN STYLE?? EWWWW NOO?? HMMM…. HELP!!

Assalamualaikum

AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

2010-06-13T21:22:00.004+08:00

AHHHH!!! BRUNO MARS!!!!!! *melts* HAHA!! Okehh mar stop it.. Control yourself. I love his voice, it makes me melt.He's cute too... =P
He have my name and Bruno sounds like Bueno... which is the same as kinder Bueno... My favorite chocolate. Plus I'm AKUU MARRS!! So mix together there you can find Bruno Mars!!!!

Snow City & Cousin Day Out

2010-06-07T17:22:00.015+08:00

Snow City (05062010)

On last Saturday, I went to AMP, they have an event where they give out prizes to those students who did well for their examination. Before giving out the prizes, we are all separated. Parents going to listen to talks, Youth also but theirs is different than the Parents plus they get to watch movie. While the young ones will get a chance to go to SNOW CITY!!!! Well I am young (=P) so I went to Snow City with the young ones. HAHA!

Alright I am crap, I admit I am old, well I became the facilitator for the students or another words Assistant Teacher. My job is total simple which is taking care of the young ones. In the category of “the young ones” are kinder garden and primary school student. They are also been separated by their age. Kinder garden and lower primary in one group while upper primary in one group. There are four Assistant Teacher and we are divided to two. I and Syawal took care of the kinder garden and lower primary while the other two upper primaries.

They are so adorable, they call me teacher and we went in Snow city first. We took the huge slide. First I was terrified to take the humongous slide but with the kids around they actually throw the fear aside HAHA!!

After a lot of time going down the slide with my students (cheyyy deeeeyyyyybahhh) HAAHA! We had SNOWBALL FIGHT!!!! Sadly I cant make a perfect snowball.. =(
But the students did and that is so embarrassing. After snowball fight then we went straight to the auditorium for our chance to learn how to make ICE-CREAM!!!!

Before learning making the ice cream, I help distributing their food. They ate Macdonald!!! After distributing there is not enough food for me and Syawal so we were assign to go to science centre MacDonald and buy the food ourselves. The queue is so long but we survived and went back to have our lunch while the students learn how to make ice-cream. Funny thing about the making ice cream session was that the instructor actually teaches the children “liquid nitrogen.” Well I find it funny because THEY ARE JUST 5 TO 10 YEAR OLD KID. =.=”

Plus the day end after they ate their ice cream and I learn that I am a good teacher. =P Not only that I also was told a 12 year old kid is interested in me at that point of time. At snow city I also met my cyber friend and my senior saw me there too. AHAHAHA! What a small Singapore.

Cousin Day Out (06062010)

Cousin day out was great we plan to go cycling at Pulau Ubin but was cancelled because I was told there was a snake on a loose. Safety first, so we decide to have our activities here in Singapore. We went East Coast Park and cycle!

Let the picture do the talking.

Waiting For Bus

Sharing Session In The Bus

Walk Together Now

Who reach the top first WIN!

And Zakiah win =.="

Im fast.

We got chocolate biscuit!!

CYCLING TIME

Break Before Going Back

It suppose to spell "FAMILY" but looks more like we're doing tai chi.

JUMP SHOT! Mine always works. =P

Taufiq?? Eat... eAT... Eat.. ishk ishk ishk....

Cycle Back

Walking Finding Sitting Spot

THE END*

MOTHER TONGUE O LEVEL

2010-05-29T22:07:00.002+08:00

NOT READY......NOT READY......NOT READY......NOT READY......NOT READY......NOT READY......NOT READY......NOT READY......NOT READY......NOT READY......NOT READY......NOT READY......NOT READY......NOT READY......NOT READY......NOT READY......NOT READY......NOT READY......NOT READY......NOT READY......NOT READY......NOT READY......NOT READY......NOT READY......NOT READY......NOT READY......NOT READY......NOT READY......NOT READY......NOT READY......NOT READY......NOT READY......NOT READY......NOT READY......NOT READY......NOT READY......NOT READY......NOT READY......NOT READY......NOT READY......NOT READY......NOT READY......NOT READY......NOT READY......NOT READY......NOT READY......NOT READY......NOT READY......NOT READY......NOT READY......NOT READY......NOT READY......NOT READY......NOT READY......NOT READY......NOT READY......NOT READY......NOT READY......NOT READY......NOT READY......NOT READY......

AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! STRESSS!!!!

Monday.....Monday.....Monday.....Monday.....Monday.....Monday.....Monday.....Monday.....
Monday.....Monday.....Monday.....Monday.....Monday.....Monday.....Monday.....Monday.....
Monday.....Monday.....Monday.....Monday.....Monday.....Monday.....Monday.....Monday.....
Monday.....Monday.....Monday.....Monday.....Monday.....Monday.....Monday.....Monday.....
Monday.....Monday.....

Mother Tongue Coaching ;

2010-05-26T21:49:00.000+08:00

My body suddenly felt as though it is carrying the whole world. I am just too tired to go online. However I will go online because I am an ordinary human who needs entertainment to release stress. Furthermore my O level Mother Tongue is just next Monday. Mother Tongue Coaching which is also known as Intensive Revision is SUPER DUPER Intensive.

Even when I am typing out these words I can feel the whole body aching and sleepy but I had my nap from 6 pm till 9:30 pm just know. Today which was supposedly to the last Coaching Session, is extended till tomorrow. I still have to drag myself to school tomorrow. Tomorrow is also the day when I get back my report book. So class starts at 8 am till 12pm and continue with Parent-Teacher Conference at 2pm till 2:30pm. After that time, I will have to continue revising. No resting. Preparing for MONDAY!!!!

*TAKE NOTE, I CAN'T CALL OR MESSAGE YOU DUE TO UNPAID BILLS. SO IF ANY ENQUIRIES DO HALO HALO ME OR LEAVE A MESSAGE AND I WILL TRY TO REPLY YOU BY CALLING YOU BACK FROM THE NEAREST PHONE. ^__^" *

D.E.A.D

2010-05-18T06:10:00.000+08:00

Morning and yes I didn’t go to school. I’m not feeling that well too. Head spinning all around, body weak down to the ground and fears of the nightmare I encounter. Or probably it’s not a nightmare but a sign or remembrance of Allah S.W.T. and the hereafter.

What happen was that last two days ago, I dreamt that I was running and suddenly I fell to the ground and can feel the pain in my lung. The next thing I know I saw myself wearing all white and was standing in front of my dead body. Later I saw mum running towards my body and hugged me tightly. At the same time, she calls out to me to wake up but I know I can’t. I call out to mum, brother and dad but none of them could hear me. I cried because I am scared of what is going to happen next.

The next thing I know I saw my body being bathed and it is just scary seeing all these happening knowing that you’ve died and seeing you own body lay in the middle of all your relative and friends who recites the Surah Yassin for you. All I did was look around me hopping that I would woke up from the dead or something because I know I’ve done a lot of bad things in life and I want to repent all my sins.

After mum and some other kissed me on my forehead, they cover me with the “kain batik” and brought me to my grave to burry me. I then cried out loud. Calling everyone but none heard me. Then mum woke me up and asked me to buy eggs and sugar. =.=”

SICK SICK SICK;

2010-05-14T11:50:00.002+08:00

God, why am I feeling this way? I feel horrible, self-esteem going down, mood going down, and it’s like everything about me is going down. It’s like I’m experiencing depression again. Probably being in this mood is good maybe because it made me think of Him more.

Plus, at this point of time is when I feel like committing suicide. GOSH! Mar pull yourself together but I cant it’s just too hard especially after knowing that I lost two people in a day. I also know that I lost a friend too. So it’s like I lost the people around me except my own family. I don’t understand myself nor do I know myself anymore. Everything that I thought I know about me is just gone or its hiding somewhere in the fog.

I want to find myself again but its so hard. With all the stresses in my life I am not sure if i can find myself anymore. I need support, I need a listening ear and I just need someone to be there for me. I don’t want people to force me who to talk to or who not to talk to. That is my right; I just need that person to be there for me. I feel so empty right now, all I can do is cry but even the tears don’t want to fall out of my eyes. I just don’t know what to do now. BLANK

Self Righteous

2010-05-06T00:21:00.004+08:00

Well thanks so much, what a lame excuse. I am sick and tired of hearing guys saying girls are always in the wrong in every relationship. It hurts me, don't they think that in every relationship you need two hands to clap. Both parties are at wrong. Stop talking to me saying that girls are the cause of your heartbroken. Its your heart that develop that damn feeling.

So please stop, I had enough until you said about my attitude and what is that supposed to be about and this same girl and same attitude that you fell for last time. You want to scold me with vulgarities go ahead. Don't give me reason because you know me that just mean you're being a hypocrite. Since you can be hard on me cant I also be hard on you. You should know it very well I am joking but you take it seriously and eventually what you said hurt me real bad and now I am taking it seriously.

That shows how smooth you are. That shows you're just a sweet talker so all these while you in a sense hate my attitude but PRETENDING to be nice to me. Thanks but I don't need friends who is just nice to me but behind me you just hate me. Plus, since you say girls nowadays are "spoilt" then don't even talk to them nor get to know them. Girls means all girls. Not all girls are like how you think and you know what, you're not the same person that I used to know and I am really disappointed. I didn't thought you would be like this. GOSH! I am just going to stop.

2010-05-03T21:03:00.004+08:00

Sick SICK sick SICK!!!! Not complaining about it. I am asking for it, O levels is end of this month. Yet I am not studying. What the hell right?? Mar what are you thinking?? WAKEEEE UPPPP!!!! PEOPLE WAKE ME UP!!!!!! =.="

I had not been studying and I skipped class GOSH! What am I turning into?? I want to be the old me back. Have I change? GOSH! STRESSNYERRR.....

Mar wake up from LALA LAND!! Back to reality.....

Karma;

2010-05-03T00:27:00.003+08:00

I want to be alone at one point of time but I too need someone to be there for me. I don't want anything more than a friend or little than that. I had enough stress going on in my life, I know you won't understand but please respect my decision. I am sorry...... I am a human too.... I too have feelings... But its better I'll keep it to myself. Thanks...

Even at point when I am depressed, I want to make others happy but please don't reject me in that kind of way. It hurts, its not only you that is "moodless" but me too. However I want to help cheer you up or at least joke around so that I can help you forget your stress and as well as mine. I want to be a help but it seems like I am just a bother to you so I'll walk my way out alright. Thanks...

PICTURES!

2010-04-29T12:47:00.011+08:00

SYF 2009

Speech Day

AHHHCHOOO!

2010-04-13T02:36:00.002+08:00

YAY People! I'm done with editing my blog. What I realize now we cant put in song to our blog. My mixpod gone crazy as all thee songs cannot be played and this really sux. Even if I put the youtube video on my blog, nothing came out. Not a sound. Youtube is getting crappier each day. I mean like WTH!! GOSH!!

Any recommendation of any website that can be use for playlist for blog do tagged okehh people. Now its 2:43 am and I have school later at 7:15 am and I should be going to bed so TATA! NIGHTS!

CPR!!

2010-03-09T23:23:00.004+08:00

Speechless.... Sick..... Tired..... Stress and all the negative things that came over to my mind. Going to school is now like a burden to me. All the studies plus the remedial and the performance coming up. GAHH!!!

Anyway I regret not going to CPR on december last year. On that day if I'm not wrong I was working. Anyway now they put it in youtube video and would like to share to you fellow muslim readers. Its kind of intresting mainly for those who are in their teenage years.... =)

ENJOY!

Summary

Kain Puteh

Berangan Jauh

Hijau & Berkorban Apa Saja

Kepadanya

Bukan Hak Kita

Rezqi

Featured Videos

Closing

Lost Generation

2010-02-21T10:20:00.002+08:00

This video was shared by my teacher and I find it cool not only that but it is also meaningful. The person who came up with this poem must be very creative person.I LOVE THIS VIDEO!!

Sadness Behind Those Smiles.....

2010-02-16T03:23:00.012+08:00

A DAY AT CHANGI WITH FAMILY!

Was pitching the tent and got my hair blown.

Anyway the day at changi is with my 2 cousin Taufiq and Hidayah and my own family. It was packed then but we still get a good spot for pitching tent and for swimming. We did not stayed at changi that long because mum was sick and dad too was sick so we only stayed there for few hours and got back home.

Mar and Hidayah

Us Again

Again....

And Again....

A DAY AT SENTOSA....

The next day me and Hidayah went to Sentosa with my group of friends.

Mat and Keem

Ain, Fiza,Din

At the back Ful, Amir, Haziq, Ali,Yan,Fariz

The love birds.... Win and Kirin

The day ended with me getting a really bad sunburn all over my face. Im getting darker..Two days....One after another go to the beach. Well I had fun but I'm sorry guys if I had somehow ruin your day during the sentosa outing. My dad was admitted to Hospital due to his leg and is really bothering me. I am just worried about him.

Thanks for the day by the way.......

UPDATE ME ALL THE PICTURE PLEASE!

~SILENCE~~~

2010-02-07T09:11:00.007+08:00

Ohaiyou Gozaimasu, Watashi no namae MAR des.... HAHA... Well it means good morning, My name is MAR. Well I am addicted to Bleach. Not that bleach okehh people.... =.="

Yes that bleach. HAHA! I know I sound so neardy but I'm proud of it. Nerd is the new cool. HAHA! Anyway yesterday I went to my cousin house and I pity my little cousin. Well he lost his father last year and his generation gap with his sibling is further apart. He is only 8 years old.

When I enter the house, I can feel the loneliness. Its just so quiet. Mum said that being the youngest always feels lonely. I kind of agree with her. I'm the youngest and I'm quite lonely though. That why I look for friends outside home. Even so, I still feel lonely. People say it is because of I am missing a guy by my side but no its not that.

How come last year I can survive without a guy by my side and at the same time I am not lonely. Confused~~~~~~~~~~

THE END

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

2010-01-19T17:39:00.011+08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

HAHA! Well I guess its a little too late for that right?? Anyway the new year is nothing much. Another year in East View, its getting more stressful. "O" level is drawing near soon. I still can't believe I am in Secondary school.

Anyway on the 13th January 2010, I went for sec 5 camp at BINTAN LOOLA RESORT!!! Was fun and scroll down to see the picture and I'll let the picture tell you the story. The camp is for 3 days and 2 night. After that camp ends on 15th January 2010 which is on Friday, I packed up to go to Desaru on the 16th January till 17th January. Due to these trip... I GOT SUNBURN!!!! =((

Met Ful first then change my money at Bedok and then made our way to school by 9:30 am.

While waiting for the bus to fetch us to Tanah Merah Ferry Terminal....

At Ferry Terminal.

Reached BINTAN!

LOOLA!!

By The SeaSide

The Resort aka KELONG!

We walked from the shore to the opposite island. There's alot of corals and rocks. It was a very low tide back then.

Patrick!!! HE LOST HIS PANTS!! HAHA okehh Mar LAME...=.="

Sea Cucumber aka KELVIN from spongebob squarepants... HAHA!! Okehh I better stop... Too Much Of Spongebob....

The View.. Guess what we walked to that island on the first day.... Now its high tide....

This is the first day... We succeeded to the other side of the island.

SECOND DAY!

Early in the morning after breakfast. Everyone sat by the seashore while feeling excited for the programme. Well on this day we went for kayaking. Early in the morning the tide was very high and we have to kayak to the Island that we walked to yesterday. I sat at the front of the kayak, Ain sat at the middle and Ful sat at the back. The journey to the small island was very easy but the journey back to the shore, it was damn hard and tiring as we are going against the wave and wind but we made IT!!!

After the Kayak we went for flying fox which is like 5-6 story high. The flying fox ended in the sea water. It was fun but at first I was shock to see the height was actually really high than I expected... But it was fun!!!

After I came down the flying fox... I tried the rock climbing. It was fun like hell and the rock climbing was the same height as the flying fox.

After the rock climbing, we went trekking to one of the hills. The hills is not the kaki bukit hill but its more like a high hill and the road to the top is very steep and there is rope that is tied to the trees for us to hold on so that we wont fall.

It was a tiring journey up but it was worth it. When we reach the top the view was awesome. Sadly didn't bring the camera as we have wet activities the whole day. So after make our way back down, we made our way for BOOM NETTING!! My favourite among all activities.

Boom netting is a boat that have nets on both of its side. And the game is just to jump into the net which is also means to the sea. Boom netting have 3 different level. Level 1 is the very bottom part of the boat, level 2 is the 2nd highest part of the boat and the level 3 my favourite level which I always jump from is the highest level of all. While we were jumping, the boat was actually moving very slowly so when I jump into the sea into the net I will automatically slide to the side like a fish that had been caught and the human pulling them. That kind of thing....

After everything we went back to our resort and got ready for dinner and CAMPFIRE!

After finish the cheering and games with our instructor, we made our very own underage party. There's loud music and everyone was like dancing like there's no tomorrow. Me and Fiza dance too okehh!!

Not only that but Fariz and a sec 4 guy got dance battle. WOHOOOO!!!

THIRD DAY

Time flies so fast and its time for us to go home. Before going home we tried skywalk which is walking on a wooden plank on top of a very tall coconut tree and jump. Was fun but SCARYYY....
After the Jump I went for Archery. Then OFF to get ready for home...

The kids there are very adorable... one of the girl gave us a flying kiss!!

Back In Singapore.....

DESARU!!!

The next day I woke up at 4 to get my bag packed again for desaru. Got out from Singapore at 6 am and reached there around 12 in the afternoon. Desaru was a nice place for relaxing and the waves there are so high and strong that you can only enter the sea water till your knee if not you can be pulled to the middle of the sea. Its very dangerous. But was fun even if the sea level is at your knee, when the wave comes it will wet the whole of you.

Me more like mum or Me more like dad??

THE END!!

BTW I WANT TO WISH HADY ANAQI AND HAZWAN A HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

Confused??

2009-12-31T03:24:00.003+08:00

GOSH! I just can't stop thinking. All I know now I am just keeping quiet and not saying much. I bet you reader don't understand what I am talking about right?? Well guess what, I myself don't know what I am talking about. WAKAKAKA!!

Thats why I am confused today. A lot of thing just went through my mind till I don't know what I am really thinking about but all I know that I feel pain, a heartache. Not a heart attack or anything but its the feeling of heartbroken. It just came back and I don't know what to do. I want to cry but I can't. I want to let it all out but I just can't. The feeling just want to stay. Hmm... If I go PEEW... PEEW... PEEW ...(play games) I think I can forget the feeling. So JAA MATE NE, BAI BAI which also means "see you later, bye bye" in Japanese. =))

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME & SYED

2009-12-24T00:00:00.002+08:00

I WISH ME A HAPPY BIRTHDAY,

I WISH ME A HAPPY BIRTHDAY,
I WISH ME A HAPPY BIRTHDAY
AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

I WISH SYED A HAPPY BIRTHDAY,
I WISH SYED A HAPPY BIRTHDAY,
I WISH SYED A HAPPY BIRTHDAY,
AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

YAY!!! At last we are 16!! First and foremost I want to thank to all my friends and family who wished me and some of those who gave me present. Even they are working and I am working, they came over to my workplace giving me a surprise present. I'll show the picture later.

Well Syed is a friend of mine, I met him at an organization and we are actually a total stranger till few month after meeting at the organization he added me at tagged. We than talked and we both got to know that we are born on the same day, same month and same year. WEEE!!!! I feel like I got a twin. HAHA! But we look totally different. =D

Anyway I got another good news, that is I am going to spent another year at East View Secondary School. I PASS MY "N" LEVEL. It's not much, its my luck I guess. Well I got 17 points,

4 - English
4 - Humanities
4 - Math
3 - Mother Tongue
2 - Science
1 - Malay Oral
Undergraded - Additional Math

I can never pass my Additional Math... =))

Before taking Result!!!

Was working and I am suppose to clean the mirror when I found a lipstick mark on the mirror of my fitting room. GILA PUNYA CUSTOMER..... Nothing better to do then kiss the mirror... IDIOTS!

My SAYANG!! =))

AHHHCHOOOO!!! DUSTY!!!

2009-12-03T03:16:00.005+08:00

*SWEEP ENTRIES*
*VACCUM PROFILE*
*MOP TAGBOARD*
*CALL UP LINKIES*

Olahh my beautiful friends!! Sorry for not bloging for long. Well done cleaning up my blog. Guess what I SURVIVED WORKING FOR A MONTH!!!!! HAHA! I'm going to receive my pay soon. YAY! How proud I am with myself. After a month at sportslink, I find it not bad after all. Just stand long hours and entertain irritating customer but certain customer are great.

From the experience I gain at sportslink, I know how irritating it feels when you fold clothes ( LIKE A LOT) in the ended up in mess like those clothes at a garrage sales. All thanks to the bloody damn customer. Anyway certain customer are very friendly and they understand how we feel so they try to make less mess as possible.

This shows that doesnt mean customer are always right. They are in the wrong sometime. However during my off day, I will definitely go out with either my mum or friends. Below are the pictures....

PEOPLE!!!! 21 MORE DAYS TO SWEET 16!!!!!

CRUISE!

Nice view....

Night time!!

Truth or Dare!! With Fiza

I got tickled, I must bite fiza's toe, I was dared to curik-curik masuk swimming pool.

WEEE!!! SWEET 18!!!

2009-11-10T00:00:00.001+08:00

HAPPIE 18TH BIRTHDAY DUM DUM!!!
WAHH!!! Old already lahh.... HAHAH!! I'm still young (:P)
Well on this day I want to say Happy Birthday,
May you Live Long,
Get your dreams Fulfilled,
Get your Wish Fulfilled,
Get your Dream Girl (nyehehehe *winks*)
Pass your Motor thingy,
Most Importantly I want you to be HAPPY on this day and also EVERYDAY!!
If you have problem or anything PLEASE I BEG YOU!!!! TALK TO ME!!!!!!!!!
What am I here for?? Talk OKEHH???

Love
Mar

2009-11-05T10:02:00.000+08:00

Ohaiyou Gozaimasu! Didn't update blog due to work. Sorry people...

Anyway work had been very tiring, mum told me that this job is just temporary till school reopen and she wants me to get a new job. She wanted me to work at escape theme park but I got to know a job from a friend of mine. I somewhat love that job. It like sitting, filling in information of the patient and refer them to a ward.

I like that type of job but I hate retailing. Very tiring. No sitting for like 12 hours if full shift and CUSTOMER ALWAYS RIGHT!!!! Now I realize that is a very stupid policy. I have to face certain types of customer which is like making my freaking blood go upstairs and sadly I have to keep it inside.

Retailing is not easy okehh people!!! Today I’m working at 2 till end that means 8 ½ hour of standing. For the past Monday and Wednesday I've been standing for 12 and 10 hours respectively. GOSH!!!! CRAMP!!!CRAMP!!!!

Out of Topic!!! HAHA!!

2009-10-28T07:29:00.003+08:00

Ohaiyou Gozaimasu! Body is feeling weak like it always do when it reach the 30th October. Should I go out or should I stay home on the 30th?? I am afraid if I didn't go out I am afraid I think too much but I guess there's no point on where I will be. It will be the same no matter what. It goes on every year but I hope it ends soon.

GOSH!! Today is math paper two but stupid right they make it in the afternoon. Wish me luck PEOPLE!! Am so not ready for exam in this condition. I just realize it just make it worst when I watch Indonesia drama. HAHA! How damn stupid the character are.... I mean like they took a very long time to think and when they nearly want to bum with their long lost relative, they are distracted and ended up no bumping on each other. GOSSH!!! That is very irritating... I think I want to try to watch Korean Drama but sadly I HATE IT!! I love JAPANESE ANIME!!!

Its been so long since I watch Anime. That was when I was primary 6. Before brother run away from home, now he’s back. Everything normal just that my parent is fighting among themselves and sadly mum got me involve and I just witness the World War 3!! Not only that I damn irritated. I don't want to do house chores!! No matter how nice you are to me. Being more rebellious.... MUAHAHAHAH

The Grand Essential Of Happiness Are
Something to do,
Something to love
And Something to Hope.

Assalamualaikum,

2009-10-24T19:58:00.002+08:00

WTH!!! I NEED MOTIVATION!!! ALL YOU JUST DO IS MAKING ME FEEL MORE TERRIBLE.....YA... I AM ALWAYS WRONG... I CANT DO ANYTHING RIGHT.... I HAD ENOUGH.....
ABANG IS ALWAYS RIGHT.... ABANG IS ALWAYS DOING THE GOOD THINGS.... I DONT.... I ALWAYS DO EVERYTHING WRONG....I HATE LIVING HERE.... I WANNA GO SOMEPLACE PEACEFUL .... I HAVE A GOOD INTENTION, I WANT TO BE A GOOD DAUGHTER BUT ALL YOU DO IS SEE THE BAD SIDE OF ME AND ALWAYS INTERPRET AND MAKE MY INTENTION BAD..... YOU SAY ABANG NEED MORE ATTENTION THAT I DO, FINE I DONT MIND THAT. I GOT CHOKED AND THROWN OUT BY THE SAME ABANG THAT YOU SAY NOT ENOUGH ATTENTION.... YOU DIDNT EVEN LISTEN TO MY SIDE OF STORY.... YOU DIDNT EVEN LISTEN WHAT I WANT TO SAY, WHAT I FEEL. YOU PUSH ASIDE...YOU TALKED TO ABANG NICELY.. TO ME YOU SCREAM LIKE THERES NO TOMORROW... I DONT WANT TO BLOG THIS BUT I CANT STAND IT ANYMORE....

I FEEL USED ... WHENEVER YOU WANT ME TO DO SOMETHING YOU TREAT ME NICELY AS EVER... WHEN YOU DONT YOU ARE TOTALLY A DIFFERENT PERSON.... I CAN TAKE IT ANYMORE.... I CANT TALK... OR I DONT KNOW IF I CAN FACE YOU... MAYBE I WILL BECAUSE YOU ARE MY MOTHER.

PLEASE..... ;

2009-10-22T11:51:00.003+08:00

Ohaiyou gozaimasu to all you FREAKS!!! WAKAKAK!

Relax, just joking alright ALIENS!!! Look at my blog ALIENS!!! Its new and didn’t took that long to get it done. How time moves so fast or I am just slow?? Anyway since it’s a school holiday, I’ve been loosing track of date and also time.

For example just now I thought it’s Tuesday when it is Thursday. Raya seemed so short maybe because of my “N” level examination. GOSH! I am seriously going to miss East View Secondary School. It felt like it was just yesterday I first enter that school. A lot of my memories at East View Secondary School with my teachers and friends can never be erased. Even it is sad or happy moment it will stay in my heart for as long as I live.

It’s funny that I kept on having a dream that life will repeat again. Maybe that is what I hope for in life, a 2nd chance but in life we don’t have 2nd chance. Life just go on till your time is up next time you know you are already in you 60s and waiting for your time and let the young take over our place now. Guess what?? I don’t want that to happen to me but I cant right??

Everyone have to grow up. That’s me I hate changes. I want it to stay this way always but when there’s a change, I could even get depressed. WEIRD!! When mum said that soon we will have to change the calendar, I was like, “HELL NO!!! I WANT 2009!!” like I did before when it is 2008 going 2009. HAHA!

ALIENS!! I want to thank you for reading my blog post for today. Sorry if it is a little or a lot crappy and boring. Now I remember what to type about!! For the past few days, I’ve been searching for jobs vacancies at different places like Kids Explorer, Wild-wild Wet, Watson, Escape Theme Park and CottonOn. I already apply at Watson and CottonOn, so now I’m waiting for their calls. Meanwhile Kids Explorer doesn’t have job vacancies yet. I was like CRUSHED!!! For Escape Theme Park, I am going to apply this Saturday. Which I will be under rides. I am going with Fiza because I know that we both have not yet reached 16 and it’s hard to get a job. I am also planning to apply job at guardian near Tampines Mart. I heard there’s a job vacancy there. Hope I get the job. GOSH!!

ALIENS!!! IF YOU HAVE ANY JOB RECCOMENDATION PLEASE TELL ME!!! DESPERATE FOR JOB!! THANKS!!

Picture of Raya that I missed out the other day....... STUPID CAMERA SPOIL MY PICCCC!!!!

DOCTOR!!!!!!

2009-10-19T20:32:00.003+08:00

Konban Wa (Good Evening) !!! Genki Desu Ka (how are you) ?? Well today I went for doctor's appointment. Woke up at 8 but went out at 12 and reach KKH at 2. Over there just talk to doctor and get myself checked up. Doctor then told me that my lung seemed a little bit better and my nose is swollen. I got sinus people!!!

Doctor then send me for exercise thingy on the 3rd of November that means I'll be take over by a gym tutor which is also a doctor and meeting with my doctor on the following week which is on the 16th of November. I hope I don't get breathless when I exercise if not I have to go for more check up which also means that I have to spent alot of money. NOOOOO!!!! MY RAYER MONEY!!!!

ANNOUNCEMENT TO MY FRENS!! MR LUTFI NEEDS 7 MORE PEOPLE FOR 25TH OF OCTOBER..... TEXT ME ASAP!! FIRST COME FIRST SERVE OKEHH PEOPLE!!

OYASUMI NASAI PEOPLE!!

( Good Night)

UPDATES! SCHOOLS OUT!!! YAY!!

2009-10-16T08:55:00.016+08:00

Ohaiyou gozaimasu!! It had been a month since I last updated my blog due to National Exam. Since now its over, I’m free!! Well not quite, still planning on working. Since now it’s a holiday, mum kept on bugging me to do the house chores. SOO IRRITATING!!

Anyway, during the National exam, I went through a lot. I’m sure my other friends too. We have difficulties in doing the papers and sometime we just want to give up. I had that feeling when I was doing my Social Studies and History elective paper. HAHA! However I felt better when I saw the source based. This is because Mr Foo gave us the same Source before. He told us to try the sources and even gave us an answer sheet.

If you’re asking about my additional math paper, HAHA! Well I did answer 5 question and the other 5 I just copy the question. I don’t have a hope for Additional Math…. Sorry Mr Vinay.

Well enough of my blabbering…. So below are pictures of the event I did from National Exam, Graduation Day, and Raya with cousin, Kak Ayu’s wedding, and a day with Fiza and lastly the Raya outing with friends.

After One Of Our National Exam Papers!

FYI! This picture is taken during the fasting month.

GRADUATION DAY!!

Before, I was crying due to the lost of my uncle and after another friend of mine told me he was just waiting for his time and same goes to another grandaunt of mine who is also waiting for her time. It affected me badly; I don’t want to loose anyone I love. Too many of them are slowly leaving me.

Anyway, when I was crying… Fiza, Kirin, Din and Win came they did a good job in cheering me up and gave me my strength back. Thanks you guys!! Anyway after the graduation, they plan to eat at Fish n Co. It was delicious and after eating we went for bowling and sat at the beach and talk crap. WAKAKAKAK

Mr Hafiz from Kumpulan Merah

SELAMAT HARI RAYA!!

The day finally came. It’s RAYA!! Exam’s over and now we CELEBRATE OoOoO…. COME ON LET’S CELEBRATE…. HAHA! We will end up crying I guess. WAKAKAKA!

Nek Piah's House

Nek Jah's House

Pak Abang's House

COOL OR WHAT??? HAHAH!

Pity us, nowhere to pose so we pose at the lobby while waiting for the prince to send his princess board the bus.( Abang Manaf and Kak Nasuha) WAKAKAKA!

PILIH 1!! PILIH 1!! HAHAHA!

Rumah Cik Jus

KAK AYU'S WEDDING DAY!!

Beautiful isn't She??

The Puteri and her Dayangs... ouhh ya... forget ^_^"..
and her Putera... haha! SOWIEE

Later that evening...

A DAY WITH FIZA

We went to Bugis but walk to City Hall. We are just wasting our time but we are not tired. Along the way there’s laughter and suddenly our stomach growling so we made our way to PIZZA HUT!

Over there we did not just eat the chicken okehh!! We also ate the pasta. The picture of the pasta is with Fiza. HAHA! So after finish eating we make our way to Grandlink and KARAOKE!! BEST2!! Great day with her…. Hope we can go out again!! NYEAHAHA

RAYA OUTING WITH FRIENDS!!

THAT'S ALL THERE IS, THERE ISN'T ANYMORE!!

Can't Sleep

2009-09-22T01:52:00.005+08:00

Thanks Nash and sorry to disturb you in the middle of the night. Thanks for giving me a listening ear and advices which are very helpful. It cool me down, really.

The picture above was taken 241207 that was the day that I turned 14. How fast time flies and soon it will be 16 for me. 2 years has past yet the past is still there. All those sweet memories of me with my first ex and my dear friend that had been long lost contact went back fresh in my head as though it just happened. However raya when I wished my dear friend, he called and told me he didn't expect to get the message from me nor I expect a call from him.

Missed that voice, missed the past raya in the year of 2007 when I got close to my ex and he invited me to his open house. However, I didn't want to go because I am not used to go a guys place even though his parents are there. I was very shy and find it inappropriate. In October 30th the day that we're together but we got on our way now.

GOSH! Past is haunting me! How great is that?? I fall back down to the ground people. I got up but I fell, sweet memories are those memories that hurt you really badly. Before this I was like laughing my ass off to sleep. Now look, I woke up and drench myself with tears. I have no one to turn to and I text Nash. He replied and I really need a listening ear and he lend it to me. It helps thanks a lot.

Sweet memories are those that hurts you real bad even if it is a happy ones because we know it wont happen again. Not with the same person. Even it happen again it is with a different person. Life just give us 1 chance and the person that is part of our life just come and go but not forgotten. ~Mar

SELAMAT HARI RAYA!!

2009-09-21T19:16:00.005+08:00

Afternoon everyone and your reading my blog. Today my post is going to be simple. It's just a short post i guess. ^_^"

FIRST AND FOREMOST I WOULD LIKE TO WISH ALL THE MUSLIM AROUND THE WORLD SELAMAT HARI RAYA, MAAF ZAHIR DAN BATIN SEANDAINYA ADER TERKASAR BAHASA, TERLUKAKAN HATI, TERMARAH DAN SEGALANYA. MAR MANUSIA BIASA DAN MAR TAU MAR TELAH BANYAK BERSALAH. SO IT'S A LIE IF YOU SAY THAT I DID NOT DO YOU ANY WRONG. JUST FORGIVE ME OKEHH!!

I ALSO WANT TO WISH A SPECIAL FRIEND A HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAY YOU GET YOUR MOTOR LICENSE AND HAVE A GREAT LIFE AHEAD OF YOU. ONLY YOU KNOW WHO I'M TALKING ABOUT. I HOPE YOU FORGIVE ME FOR MY PAST MISTAKE AND REMEMBER TO DRIVE SAFELY WHEN YOU GET YOUR LICENSE. SMILE ALWAYS PLEASE!

The first picture is for the 2nd day raya.

200909:

First day! PURPLE!

Family Picture. Mum not camera ready while me, I got squeezed by my two brother.

My family and my only grandaunt and granduncle that I have left and whom I regard them as my own grandfather and grandmother.Both brother tired because they both worked till late morning...

Baghban

2009-09-15T00:00:00.005+08:00

SUCH A SON THEY ARE!! THEIR PARENT SACRIFICE EVERYTHING FOR THEM AND THEY RETURN THEIR SACRIFICE BY SAYING THEIR PARENT IS A BURDEN TO THEM??? THEY JUST GO TO THEIR PARENT WHEN THEIR PARENT HAVE MONEY!! SO CRAZY FOR MONEY.... IDIOTS!!!

Sorry my readers, I got carried away watching a Hindustan movie called "Baghban" ^_________^"

That movie itself made me cry till my eyes are swollen. You guys have to check out the story. It's very touching. Even if you're a guy, I swear you would cry. I mean like its about parents and how we treat them. If you don't cry then you're heartless. No offense!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KEYREEN!!

2009-09-05T23:26:00.003+08:00

OLAHH!! WOOSH! N LEVEL ON MONDAY!!! Still I'm not ready for it! GOSH!! Postponed please!! I AM STRESSS!!!

Anyway.....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KIRIN!!

Today we celebrated Kirin's birthday by breaking our fast at Sempang Bedok. It was fun, alot of laughter and the food were all so delicious. Seriously we ate alot and the cost of the food is *****. Its very cheap =D Sorry Kirin can't tell you. =P

While eating me and Fiza even have the time to lookout for the cute guy opposite our table. WAKAKAKA! Puasa OII! But its not wrong right? At least we didn't talk behind his back. He's cute. GOSH *MELTS*

Well after finishing eating me Bob, Hakeem and Amir went to buy for Kirin her birthday Cake. At shop and save, me and bob fought because I want to pay but he say he want to pay. We ended up fighting and still of course MAR WIN! WAKAKAKAK! Too bad bob! =P

Well after buying then we walk to Tanah Merah and ate at a nearby park. Over there I tried to distract Kirin while the rest busy preparing the candle and cake. So I brought her to the swing, we talked and at last the Birthday song started. She blew the candle and all the guys whose birthday already passed got their face drawn with cake by Kirin.

Of course not forgetting the Photo taking!

We all then make our journey home taking the MRT from the Tanah Merah Interchange and separate with Irwin and Kirin in the train while I separate with the rest at Tampines MRT because I have to meet my brother because we plan to go to our aunt house and sleepover there.

*A Happy Life*
Is
*Living In The Life Of Memories*

If you look back at your past life, even how much problem you face or how much you think your past is so miserable but it is not as miserable as you live in the present. You would wish you could turn back time and live the life you had last time. For me even though how hardly my life were back then, Mum and dad always fight, overprotective brother beat be around, broke up in relationships and having depression. I always look at the beauty of it as such that what that problem made me into and what happen before those problem all the sweet memories of having all my brother living in the same house, having my brother respecting my dad, having mum healthy, having at least a friend who is willing to be there for you no matter what and most importantly for me is having the guy of my dream treating me well, brought me to meet his parent and celebrated my birthday. All this are those happiest moment that I wish I could go to.

Now to me as If I lost everything. Brother busy with work and NS, Mum and dad having their age that is increasing. Mum is 50 and Dad is going to be 60 soon. Being alone without the guy that I love anymore by my side and also loosing of a friend whom is always there for me as she is busy with her own love life and life now. I understand now that all relationship come and go, the only person that are left are my family. Even if now my family is at calm, I don't feel that we are united. Thats why today I look back and my past years, I realize the family bonding that I used to have is very strong. Now everything is going away. Therefore I am thankful to God for giving the life and the sweet memories that I had. Who knows right in the future it might get worst? I am thankful to Allah for everything as I know I cant turn back the time but at least He gave me a great life in the past and insyallah in the future but it still wont be the same.

To my dearest friends

-Kirin,
-Fiza,
-Amira,
-Adilla,
-Atiqah,
-Sabrina,
-Hakimah,
-Shaiful,
-Sufyan,
-Haziq,
-Hakeem,
-Amirul,
-Khan,
-Syafiq,
-Farhana,
-Aisyah,
-Azilah,
-Din,
-Bob,
-Hazwan,
-Firdaus,
-Melissa,
-Eeka,
-Mat,
-Acap,
-Alfian,
-Khai,
-Amin,
-Win,
-Shahril,
-Faris,
-Ali,
-Zul
&
-Ain

Even if I did not talked much to you guys, You guys still had made an impact in my life. I won't forget a single pinch of memory that we spent together. Through thick and thin. Thanks You Guys! =D

Alhamdullilah

Happy Teacher's Day!

2009-09-01T13:00:00.000+08:00

Hello World!!! I have a lot to say but yet so little time. “N” level is just around the corner and I swear I am so NOT ready for this. STRESS LAHH PEOPLE!! But theres someone I want you guys to meet. They both really got the stress out of me. Want to know who? Continue reading!!

Well you see the above? Well thats the person. They are my new pet terrapin and they are so hilarious. Really cute you know. However I still can't come out with a name for the both of them. Any suggestion?? Type it on my cbox!

Well HAPPY BIRTHDAY YI TING!! May all your dreams and wishes come true alright! Anyway on the same day of Yi Ting's Birthday, we also celebrated Teacher's day. It was fun, lots of smile on everyone's faces. So for now I'll let the picture do the talking.

For this year Hari Raya, I'll be wearing Purple, Brownish Gold and Black! Below are pictures of me in Black baju raya and don't say anything about price tag okehh!! nyehehehe...

Selamat Berpuasa!

2009-08-22T08:18:00.003+08:00

Assalamualaikum, Mar here want to ask forgiveness from all of you. I'm sorry I did not blog for quite a long time and I am also sorry for all the wrongs that I did to all of you. Well I might not know, in silence I might have hurt you. People tend to make mistake so it's a lie if you all say that I did nothing wrong.=))

We all are so lucky to meet Ramadan again another year. For the past few month some people couldn't make it and it's quite sad. Among all the month that was created the most wonderful month that Allah creates is Ramadan. This month is like a month where we get “give-away pahala” even just by doing something small, Allah is very nice to give us the pahala 10 times more in this wonderful month.

"Mar ingin mengucap Selamat melakukan ibadah puasa. Moga kita diberi keberkatan dalam bulan Ramadan yang penuh barakah ini. Amin."

CPR!// ~Just Great~

2009-08-06T22:50:00.003+08:00

Hey everyone! On the 1st of August 2009 I went for a talk with my friends at Al-Ansar Mosque. The talk is about teenager or in malay it is called, "Cakap Pasal Remaja (CPR)." However before meeting everyone at the mosque, Abang Pian and Kak Nasuha brought me to Toa Payoh to play Guitar Hero!!

Fun OII!! First time playing the drum and I manage! HAHA!! So at 5 I quickly make my way to Al-Ansar. Lucky me I reached there on time, not exactly. In fact I am SOOOOOO EARLY! Such a good girl I am. HAHA!!

Post 2:

No wonder these few weeks I kept thinking and crying over him. I knew he is close somewhere somehow and got to know he join the tuition. I guess, I am still not over yet huh?? GAHHH!!! What The Hell!!
Hate this feeling!!! Cause me to be moody and get all my friends around me affected.

To my friends, I am sorry if somehow I am so IRRITATING for crying to much, for talking about "HIM" too much and scolding for no reason. I am just sooooo moody and I'll try to control, I hope you can bear with me.

So for now don't talk to me, let me be alone and calm myself down. Most importantly so story telling about love life. I cant take that for now. Need advice? I will be here but it might not help much as how can I advice people when I myself is not strong.

Today's Fact

"Month that start with Sunday will always have Friday the 13th"

UPDATES! 160709, 210709

2009-07-23T16:30:00.000+08:00

Hey there people, I am back after a very long weeks of schooling and stressing my brain for the upcoming "N" Level. Well a lot happen but you know I don't really type all of it up, I will always give my 95% of the story.

So on the 160709 was actually a normal day but just that I post a photo of it. It was after tuition, me and my tuition friends always slack. However that day seemed so different. Perhaps I tried a new hairdo or just that for once we took pictures together. Below are the picture:

From the left; Hafiz, Fauzi, Faris & ME!!

#Take 2

Now its time for 210709. On that very day, my school celebrate Racial Harmony Day. We have to turn up to school with our Ethnic Costume. I wore "Kebaya" which was bought when I was only 12 years old but it didnt fit. Now it fits but not that fit. ^_____^"

PICTURES:

The Chinese girls wearing Kebaya and also Baju Kurung. Beautiful right??
From left: Pei Ying, Agnes, Yi Ting & Xin Xian

Haziq! Fiza is camera ready... =))

Part of the class.

Candid shot thanks to Ain!! Well I was actually mad because Haziq do not want to take picture with me!!
GRRRR!!!

At last we manage to make him take picture with us!
MUAHAHAHA!!

History lesson we took photo. I wonder if Mr Foo notice it or not. Well on that very day, all of us do not have the mood to study. HAHA!

After History
From left: ME!, Ain, Kirin, Farna

MAR!! , Kirin, Ain

During recess, I didn't eat so I cam whore instead.

Now the girls.
From left: ME , Farna, Ain, Kirin, Fiza
#Take 2
Now with the guys!
From 1st row/left : Khan, Shaffiq, Firdaus, Wan, Ali & Sufyan
From 2nd row/left: Farna, Ain, Fiza, MAR ,Kirin, Rahmat, Ful, Bob, Amir, Win & Hakeem
From 3rd row/left: Shafie & Faris
Thanks to Atiqah for taking the photo for us. ( The girl in blue)

*BIRTHDAY WISHES *

On the 210709 our class celebrate two of our classmate's birthday:

So I want to say

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO BOTH LEON & AMIR!!

May you both pass "N" Level with flying colours!!

Leon

Amir

Today's Fact:

23% of all photocopier faults worldwide are caused by people sitting on them and photocopying their butts.

My Old Diary

2009-07-22T03:48:00.001+08:00

Guess what?? I found my diary when I was still in primary school. I realised that I was quite a quiet girl. Is it because of what I went through when I was a girl??

From what I wrote, I am quite an angry person in me. Not only that I can see too that deep down inside I am badly hurt. Things have been changed quite a lot huh??

HAHA!! Good night people!!

Cute Video!

2009-07-15T07:07:00.000+08:00

Watched the cute video? WAKAKAKA! Anyway today nothing much happen in school. Quite boring though. About yesterday's doctor appointment, doctor said that my lung was much better than it was before. Thank God for that. However my next appointment I will have to exercise because most likely my asthma attack came after every physical activity. GREAT... =_____="

Today's Facts:

"On average, 100 people choke to death on ballpoint pens every year."

UPDATES! 030709, 040709, 050709

2009-07-13T09:05:00.000+08:00

Sorry for not been blogging for quite a long time, well as usual I am busy or just stressed up or just plain lazy =D
Anyway my post today would be about 3rd July, 4th July and 5th July.

O3O7O9

On this day when I reached home from school, my brother asked me to quickly get ready because we are going out with my cousin. So I got ready without knowing where we are going, suddenly outside (I was in my room) at living room, I heard a familiar voice. When I went out, I saw my cousin. So I "Hi" to him and my first brother kept on pestering me to quickly get ready when I am already ready.

When got out from the lift of my HDB flat, we saw that we just missed our bus. I got to know that my 2nd brother just got an MC from his camp so he will be joining us with his girlfriend. We planned to meet at Toa Payoh interchange near the "Cheers"

We are 5 minutes late but lucky 2nd bro didn't complain. So head to burger king and I bought one of the burger (forgot the name because rarely ate there) for my dinner. We had dinner at the "Game Arena". We ate while we play but 1st brother get to finish his dinner first because Me, Cousin, 2nd brother and his girlfriend wanted to play "Rock Band" first.

I became the singer. (=.=)" I want to be the bass but didn't get at first. So people... I sang... and the most irritating of all, my brother and my cousin book a room which is near to the glass window. So passer-by can watch us from outside. Yes there's a lot watching us playing and I felt like I am an animal in the zoo. After few songs I sang, I pass the mic to my 1st brother as he finished his finish his food already. I 'm hungry so my turn to eat.

After eating I volunteer to play the bass. I SUCK really, but I can manage. The place is like haywire, we are so "THE KECOH." Sadly we have to end the game as 1st brother got another plan. We got out of Game Arena and make our way to withdraw money then off to a place which have a lot of computers. I was all blurred because I am not used to play computer games especially my brother's type of game genre. Which like action + adventures with creepy monsters. ^_________^"

I got to know that we will be playing "Left 4 Dead" which involve creepy crawly, green slime spitting, licking , humongous , ugly monster. =D

I'm Joe and when I was playing I felt like I want to pee. Stupid shocking monster but we manage to survive. WE = Me and my COUSIN. My two brother died; my 1st brother was trying to heal me then he asked me to run and he got killed. My 2nd brother was already at the helicopter but when I got up, my 2nd brother fell off the Helicopter and died.

After playing left 4 dead, we played warcraft and packed up to go home.

040709

Hidayah & Mar

Solo Picture

Hidayah & Mar Again

As you can see from the picture above I'm with my heart shaped light and red shirt. I get to watch the NDP preview for free because 2nd brother performing and we got 1 free ticket but both his friend and sergeant gave him the ticket so total there was 3 tickets. I went with mum and Hidayah.

Me and Hidayah very the "KECOHRABLE" laughing, screaming like nobody business when actually I was having flu. HAHA! So after the show, we waited for my brother then went home taking cab. By then my body was all weak and feverish. Got home I bathed and slept till the next morning. I didn't get to attend my religious class but I remembered that I promised my childhood best friend that I will meet her so I went out.

O5O7O9

"RINDU BANGET SAMA KAMUU!!!" Introducing my CHILDHOOD BESTFRIEND!!!! Whom I wrote a post about her and the crazy things we did. HAHA!!

We met and talk...talk....talk...laugh....laugh.....laugh...laugh... dance...dance... took photo.... took photo... and more photo but I put this one ( picture above) because it's my favorite. A lot of hilarious thing happened... On that day is like my belo day and her day when she always trip but lucky her she didn't fall. HAHA! As for me my cleverness is that I accidentally wanted to tahan the MRT. I don't know what got into me but jyeahh.. she laughed at me and it was supposed to be our secret and thanks NUR!!! For spilling it hahaha!!! Never mind anyway... bluek!

Thanks For the WONDERFUL DAY!!!

2009-06-29T11:28:00.000+08:00

Today I'm at home doing nothing but online. I then went to take a look my dusty facebook account. I realize I got alot of invitation. So I clear all the invitation and took one of the quizzes tittled, "Real Malaysia Names" I tried at most of my classmate and I got the results

Girls:

Mar- Timah 50sen
Ain - Rogaya Vogue
Rafiza- Lin Belacan
Farhana- Petom Feewet
Azilah- Tipah Tertipu
Melissa- Nina Ribena
Atikah- Siti Sukarno

Boys:

Zul- Din Apam
Amirul- John Belangkas
Shaffiq- Shah Putumayam
Fariz- Lan Kacang
Rahmat- Mike Bragas
Sufyan- Bobo Canai
Syaiful- Tom Mon
Firdaus- John Suparno

HAHA! I got Timah 50sen?? So sad seyy... I feel so cheap... HAHA!! can't it be like 50dollars or 50infinity dollars?? At least I dont feel cheap. =DD

R.I.P // Childhood Memories Cannot Be Erased

2009-06-27T10:42:00.000+08:00

1958 - 2009

Hello! Today I was awaken with a shocking news about Michael Jackson. Well Michael Jackson used to be my number 1 fan when I was 3 years old. Young but I still remember that I always asked mum to switch on his concert that mum taped. I watched it nearly everyday. My favorite song is "Beat It", "Heal The World", "Black Or White", "Dirty Diana" and more. =))

Speaking about 3 years old, I now in contact with my childhood friends whom I really miss the most!! Her name is Nuriffa Insyirah. I used to call her Nur, I used to be her grandmother's neighbor but to me we are not like neighbor but more like a Family. Mum and Dad worked while brothers busy with school. Since I am only 3 years old, mum is worried to leave me home alone. So she sent me to my neighbor, thats why to me their family are just like mine.

Her grandmother would cook for us, bath us, switch on Hindustan for us ( till now I am addicted to Hindustan ) and even put us to sleep. So during my childhood time, I am always with Nur. Doing all the mischief together, talk together, eat together, bath together and that just shows how close I am with her last time.

As time goes by, we grew up and go to our own direction in life. It now had been 10 years since we last met and now we are grown youth. She still looks the same though only prettier. *WINKS* Well I can't wait to meet her again.

MISS HER DAMN LOADS LAH SIAAAAAA!!!

3 POST TOGETHER!!!

2009-06-20T10:14:00.000+08:00

First post about crappy people with no life and making up stories. Idiots sia!!!

SERIOUSLY IRRITATING!!! FEEL LIKE KILLING THAT CRAPPY PEOPLE!!
DAMN THAT CRAPPY PEOPLE!!
GET A LIFE LAHH!!!

Second post was on the 20th June 2008 , I went to AMP with Hidayah and Mum. Over there we were separated Mum went for the adult talks, I went for my Communication, Life, Love & Sex talks and Hidayah watched "Night At The Museum 2."

SO UNFAIR!!
BUT!!! TOO BAD HIDAYAH I GOT TWO FREE TICKETS TO WATCH ANY MOVIE I WANT!!! MUAHAHAHAHAH BLUEK!

Picture Time;

Well at night we went for Karaoke!!! With brother, Aunt and her husband. So from Pasir Ris we rushed to Bedok and ended up waiting for them. HAHA!

While waiting Hidayah bought us sweets and I bumped with my Al-Ansar instructor. Chit-Chat for awhile and Abang Aziz came. We entered the karaoke place at around 8+ and my brother booked the room for 3 hours. I sang Bunga-Bunga Cinta, Kau Pergi Jua, All or Nothing, Adat Berkasiih, Hero, Kesetiaan, Wake Me Up When September End, Bring Me Back To Life, My Heart. OKEHH!! Didnt thought that I sang that much...

Feeling RED!!!

So the day end with smile on everyone faces. However the day didn't just end there, In fact we continued by watching Night At The Museum 1 then made our way home.

The third post is about yesterday. I went to Kota Tinggi. Seriously it had been 11years since I last WENT THERE ( HAPPIE?? HAHAHA!). Now the place had already change alot. The water now is less clearer unlike it used to be. Anyway lets start from scratch. First we went to Larkin to have our breakfast and then shopping for bags. Lucky I bought my bag at Larkin first because the bags that are sold at Kampung Kelantan not nice at all.

After Larkin we went to Kota Tinggi. Sadly I cant swim because Mum says that we are not going to the waterfall when I asked her before we went out, so I didnt bring but lucky I was wearing Skirt so I still can play around with the water. After Kota Tinggi we went to Jusco. Nothing much there just shop for grocery and bathroom goods. Then we went to Senibung to have our dinner. When I got out of the car I saw alot of Mat Malaysia working there and I know something will happen. So while we were walking to find places to sit, alot of Mat Malaysia trying to get my attention. Till at this one point of time mum got really angry with the Mat Malaysia for being too much. HAHAHAH!!!! After gotten scolded the other guys didn't dare to disturb me again. MUAHHAHAHAHA!!! THANKS MUMMY!!!

The day ended with us going back home with my stomach BONCET!!! HAHAHAH...Don't Mess with her! NYEAHAHAHA

wATERfALL behind me!

Nice ehk??
Another Photography by Mar

SHHHHH.....

2009-06-16T23:29:00.000+08:00

Hello world! I won't be entertaining messages, calls, go online, going out or talk like I usually do. I don't want to hurt you people. A lot said that I hurt them and I'm sorry and all because of me. Relationships between friends were nearly destroyed because of me and all because of me. I guess I am created in this world to only hurt others huh??

I am going to spent the rest of my days of living probably doing what I think is important. Friends are important but I feel like I need my time alone. Friends that I meant are not all but true friends. You know who you are. GUYS?? I'm out of their life and so are they. No more guy friends for me. I don't want to be contacting anyone. I am not going to talk much. I hate hurting people. Those who wait for me, just go. I am just hurting you aren't I??

LEAVE ME ALONE PEOPLE!!!

TEENS a.L.I.V.E CAMP!!

2009-06-16T14:24:00.000+08:00

Teens a.L.I.V.E camp was great but there was a last minute changes from a 3 day camp become 2 day camp. I was quite disappointed because the two days were actually the best because had loads of fun.

On the first day, I got ready my things by 3 + in the afternoon but I kept on changing bags till I forgot to bring my towels and my inhaler. At 5 sharp I already reached Al-Ansar Mosque. I registered myself and went into the assemble area which is also the place where we sleep for the night.

That very night we had ice-breaker. It is very uproar even though it is only the first day. After the ice-breaker we had our Ishak prayers, had our supper and off to sleep. The next morning we woke up early to have our Tahajud prayer followed by subuh.

After Subuh we bath and had our breakfast. The it was game time!! So the very gerek! It was the battle of the gender and guess what??? WE GIRLS WON!!! nyeahahahahha... After the game we took the bus to East Coast Park.

As soon we reached ECP, we get ready for the Amazing Race On Bikes! It was fun like hell. First my group must go to Bedok Jetty first followed by going to a tree near Big Splash and while on our way to the tree near big splash we must find 6 can of coke tin and 3 empty flavoured bottle.

To find the bottle my group open up the garbage bag and we found two unused bottle and to find the tin we went to East Coast Lagoon Food Centre and asked the person who ate there for their coke tin and we manage to get 3 cans and the other 3 cans we bought and drank it.

We ended the race with everything complete! I also got my asthma attack after that. As per normal this always happens to me. I am thankful for it. Everyone panic and I want to thank all the Ustazah, Ustaz and the Youth for helping and caring toward us. Well they stayed up and did not even sleep as their job is to take care of us.

They day ended with us playing WATERBOMB!! Below are the picture taken after the waterbomb game.

Mar and Deenah She's in my group!!Well not "MY" group but its "OUR" group.

DK Trip;

2009-06-09T11:23:00.000+08:00

"Dikir Barat Trip; 6/6/09 & 7/6/09"

Hello! I am back! I know I had not been blogging for quite a while so what happen was that I am lazy but I am not lazy to watch the Dikir Barat Competition Among Schools which is on the6/6/09 & Among Groups which is on the 7/6/09.

On the 6 June, I did not took any pictures because I rushed my way to school and forgot to bring my camera along. So there will only be stories only. So on that day our school Dikir Barat Team compete with other secondary school. Such as Sin Min Secondary, Marsling Secondary, Jurongville Secondary, Ping Yi Secondary, Fuhua Secondary & Bedok View Secondary. Even though they did not win any trophy, I still say that they did a very good job. They even got chosen at the best Karut.

Fuhua Secondary won first and I got to admit they did very well. They got the "KECOHNESS", the "PERSAMAAN" & "GREAT VOICE". Congrats to them!!

The day was great but as the day end Ain, Fiza & Me were very tired and dizzy as the three of us did not even eat anything since morning and the competition ends at 4+ in the afternoon and we took the bus back to school at 6+

On the 7 June, we went to Republic Polytechnic for the Piala KGMS . It is among those big groups such as Andika , Chu Chu Datok Merah, Balqis, Yenbo Je, Keris, W.U.D.K.S, Si Anak Seni, Panjy and Dendang Mutiara. Here's Some video:

I don't know if you realize there is 10 groups but on the day itself there is only 9 Groups competing with each other. Tanjak Taulan was nowhere to be seen on the actual day. Anyway all groups did so perfect. If can, I want to go up stage and perform with them. WAKAKAKAKA!

The winner is Yenbo Je, I like the group. When they won, they sang as a group and I find it so sweet actually. =)) Andika won second, I like their performance. They played LEGO CUTE SAK! HAHA!Dendang Mutiara then won 3rd. It was unexpected for Dendang Mutiara. I thought Chu Chu Datok Merah would won third. CONGRATS TO THE WINNER!

Picture Time:

In the bus

Upon Reaching

At Night Mr Lutfi treat all of us DRINKS! Some roti prata. So THANKS MR LUTFI!! YOU'RE THE BEST!!!! hahaha!!! Wonder if he read my blog again. ^____^"

All Of US

*THATS ALL THERE IS, THERE ISN'T ANYMORE!*

Wait! Lastly I want to say,

"SELAMAT PENGANTIN BARU KEPADA CIKGU FARHANA & SUAMI. SEMOGA SELAMAT KE ANAK CUCU DAN SENYUM-SENYUM SELALU!

Have A Safe Trip!// Personalities;

2009-06-02T02:28:00.000+08:00

Morning world! Today is such a terrible day, I am having my menstruation cramp. I can't get off from bed at all my back ache like hell seriously. It had been quite a long time since I had a bad cramp like this.

Anyway yesterday was a long day. After madrasah I rushed home to meet the guys to send Amin for his first Umrah. Alhamdullilah he get to go for Umrah but he wasnt ready. I can feel what he feel when he was about to leave. However I pray hard that he will have a safe flight to and fro. I also pray that he would complete his Umrah safely too. He just text me saying that he's at Jeddah and done doing his subuh prayers. Here is 10:49 a.m but Mecca, Jeddah, Cairo or easy to say Saudi Arabia is 5:50 a.m

If happens Rasyiqah and Zana is reading this post, Amin send his regards to you two. New Topic!!! I've been wondering who am I since I don't know when but the thing is now I think I know.

Well I am;

~Conservative,
~Systematic,
~Sociable,
~Warm ,
~Enthusiastic,
~Demanding,
~Ambitious,
~Calculating
&
~Dependent.

I am motivated by;

~A friendly environment
~Freedom from many rules and regulations
~Detailed task
~Recognition for loyalty
~Safety & Security
~No Sudden changes in procedures or lifestyle.

My Ideal environment should include;

~Freedom from control or supervision
~A Forum to express ideas
~Practical Procedures
~Few conflicts and argument
~Stability and predictability
~Task that can be completed one at a time
~A team atmosphere

I tend to keep to myself but once I burst it will be bad. I can't do multi-task if I did, I will go all stressed up. I love to make new friends and I can cry knowing I lost a friend even just because of fight. I don't like sudden changes. If you cancel our plan the last minute, it pissed me off. There people I am not sure if its true but I sort of believe I am those. Whatever it is you people judge me but get to know me well before judging me.

TIME FOR ME TO SHUT UP!!!

2009-05-31T13:49:00.000+08:00

I am not going to say anything anymore. I might say about whats going on in my life but I wont say much. Keeping everything to myself. Anyway on the 5^th of June I cant go for the derma collection because of Math Coaching.

Stupid Math Coaching!! I've been looking forward for that day. I wanted to go for the Derma Collection thingy for Masjid Al-Ansar. From now on POSITIVE ATTITUDE !! I'll SHUT UP in times of Happy & times of SAD & times of ANGRY. I'll put on a POKER FACE ->

HISTORY CANT BE SEND!!! GAHH!!!

2009-05-30T04:08:00.000+08:00

Damn irritated lah!! Stupid E'Learning!! Stupid E'Portal!!

Yesterday was E'Learning day and we have no school. All Secondary 1- 4NA students stayed home to do their work via internet. My computer was alright, I did the entire question from science to mother tongue to History and Math. I finished it all.

For Science I managed to send my homework same goes to Mother Tongue. When night came, I already finished my History homework and quickly send it to Mr Foo through E'Portal. However it was unsuccessful, so decided to send via email. By then it's already 10 minutes before midnight.

Thinking that I was lucky, I send the work to Mr Foo and off to bed. I don't know why I woke up at 2 in the morning but my heart say check my email so I did.
GUESS WHATTT??????
I read one of my emails and it says that the History homework was unable to be send to Mr Foo. At that point of time I felt like crying sia!!! Ended up thinking about the unsent homework and can't sleep until now.

People then asked me, " Mar you never sleep arr? " HAHAHAHAH!! I wonder how they figure it out. Not only one person asked me but there's a lot of them who asked me this question. Now new plan, today is Parent- Teacher Conference and after the conference I will meet Mr Foo and hand in my homework by hand. I will then explain to him but I am still worried that he wouldn't accept my homework.

GOSH STRESSING OUT HERE!!!!! ARGH!!!

BIRTHDAY!!

2009-05-27T15:00:00.000+08:00

Hello WORLD!!

*HAPPIE 16TH BIRTHDAY AZFARKHAN*

*HAPPIE 14TH BIRTHDAY HILMAH*

~Hope You ENJOYED YOUR DAY!!! & May all your dream and wishes come true~

Holiday Programme With Teens Alive

2009-05-24T15:00:00.000+08:00

Hello there! Today's post will be mostly about the plans during the holidays with Teens Alive.

5th June 2009 - Flag day for Al-Ansar Mosque. People please donate yarr.. We need the money to rebuild Al-Ansar Mosque. All you have to do is that when you go for your friday prayers, there will be students from Al-Ansar with the donation cans. Just drop your coin there.

12th June 2009 To 14th June 2009 - I am going for the Teens Alive camp.

That's all for the plans during the holiday with Teens Alive.

The plans with friends :

10 June 2009 - Will be going out with tuition teacher and Friends!!

First 2 Weeks of June Holidays I might have coaching at school.

The other days I will be free but I cant confirm with you people if I am allowed to go out with you or not. The dates that are stated are confirmed.

IMPORTANT DATE: 4th June 2009- English Oral! ( Prelim )

Time to get serious Mar!

GOOD + BAD NEWS!!

2009-05-24T13:04:00.000+08:00

GOOD NEWS PEOPLE!!+ BAD NEWS PEOPLE!!

If I am not wrong now view my blog using Internet Explorer. Today going to MUIS to take the heavy sack of rice and some kitchen stuff. I realized there had been a lot of spamming case going on around people's blog.

I am wondering why do people spam for? Not like they gain something from doing that and If they want to spam sure but at least tell their real name. Seriously there is no need for that. It's their blog they can do whatever they want but not talking bad about others or if they want at least not stating any name.

I pitied one of this girl she got spam. The spammer even create a blog saying that she's a slut and all pornography picture in that blog. I was shock, my advice to her is that to make a report because the spammer is too much and doing that is unacceptable. This is called cyber bullies.

Anyway I already update the "Links" Sorry for the late link-ing.

Sinus! AHHHHCHOOO!!

2009-05-23T14:43:00.000+08:00

Irritating sinus is killing me!!! I hate my medication because I have to spray it in my nose and that is quite painful. So leaving me sneezing around and my nose is like an open tap. The water came out non-stop till I even stuffed the tissue in my nose.

Anyway today nothing much happens, kind of boring today. It’s like I’m missing something but I just don’t know what it is. Do you know what it is? Hmmm… Anyway I am still editing my blog so right now my blog is incomplete. Sorry for the inconvenience caused. Hope you all understand THANK YOU!!!

Rough Day In School & Home;

2009-05-20T18:47:00.001+08:00

Today felt so miserable, first I went school with no pocket money and I didn't eat since early morning before going to school.

Then Vinay criticize me saying I am a failure and he says that that there is no hope for me to pass my math. I had enough negative comment and I am trying to change but it too much I can't take it and burst out to tears and worst still I failed terribly for my math.

Then after crying my head was spinning like hell but I ignored it because I know my empty stomach and to much thinking led me to the spinning head.

After school went to Pasir Ris for awhile to send my mum's paper to AMP. Then went back home knowing that there is no food. Mum did not cook and I was so tired and dizzy so I slept for awhile then woke up and cook myself a Maggie Goreng.

Then brother asked me to cook for him too. So I gave him the food that mar cook and make another one. After making another dish, Dad came n told me to cook for him. I am BLOODY hell pissed off. I am so hungry and so sick then he expect me to cook again. I am tired so ended up I gave up all my food to him leaving me In my room with no mood to eat because the voice just came back.

Vinay's voice saying I am a failure and alot of things going on my head really too much for me to handle feel like my head are going to burst.

You're Going?

2009-05-20T08:43:00.000+08:00

You're going??Do reply me ok.

Well today got my result. I did badly for my math and English. Math I got 16/40 while English I got 40/80(not the total mark, only paper 2) . For Mother Tongue I got 71/100 and Physic I got 32/50 while Chemistry I got 30/50. Social Studies I got 37/50 and yet to find out my history mark, which is tommorow.

I just hope I pass for history because I can't pass humanities without passing history which I find it impossible for me to pass. For additional math I can gurantee that I fail. So both math I failed and I need to buck up on that.

Math is needed to go to Secondary 5. Such a stressful day today is. First the fight now the result. I'm begining to hate myself for not only because I failed and the problem but also knowing how lazy I am in my studies.

I want to buck up but it's hard. I am not doing enough, 'N' level is around the corner. Am I going to fail?? Only god knows and I can't predict from what I am doing now. GOSH!!!!

Brother Planing To Get Engaged

2009-05-19T02:56:00.000+08:00

Morning word!! Mar here feeling bored. I also got a shocking news but I hope the plan really work. Well 1st brother already told mum that he want to get engaged to a girl from his workplace. Who he knew for quite sometime and the girl's mother knew my brother and is quite close to my brother.

Mum was unsure about the plan as we can't afford it. However brother says he will save the money for the engagement. Mum is worried that after the engagement brother won't always with our side of family because to her she already see him more to the girl's family than us.

She is somewhat jealous about it but she didn't think that she too spent most of her time with her anak angkat. I'm sure brother felt the same way as she did. I just don't know what to say anymore but I can't wait for the engagement but still going to miss him. HAHA!

Mar crap lah! He just plan but not yet confirm. If it is confirm then I will post it here!

Confusion

2009-05-18T23:20:00.001+08:00

What should I do? Am I intefering their relationship? Am I like a third party here? She sounded like she love you and wanted you to wait for her but stupid me show up in your life.

If I did not exist in your life I bet you would be with her. Ya she wants you to be happy with me but she wanted to be with you. Guilty is haunting me. CRAP lh mar!!!!

2009-05-16T14:45:00.000+08:00

ANGER INSIDE OF ME IS ABOUT TO COME OUT!

Whatever, like what I say not even the sweetest words wont make me like you. You may be nice to me and I may be nice to you but doesnt mean I like you. You did not even say sorry for the incident happen on the 25^th December 2008 (theres a post on it) Its not that I am bringing back the incident, I know I am at fault and deserve to be punished but at least say sorry after that. At least I feel respected.

Today I was tired and when I got home, mum asked me to do the laundry but I went to sleep instead because my body is all weak. When I woke up it's already 6:30 in the afternoon and you expect me to do the laundry. If I did, I'll be late for tuition and mum is going to kill me for that. I reached home at 10+ nearly 11 and you want me to get dinner for you??

You have two hands two legs go do it yourself. You are asking me at a wrong timing, today is just not a good day. I had lost my mood especially after the incident last week Monday, mum accused me of going out having fun while I actually telling the truth that I went out studying with Nana and Amati Shikin. Not only that, she scold me for going out always while I actually stayed home and for these two days I went out she says that “I ALWAYS”????

CRAP LAH! Staying at home is like miserable the reason is I can never have my alone time and I cant also focus in studies because there will always be some joker asking me to do things for them and when I didn't they will try to find something to scold me and causing me to be miserable.

TO MUM'S FAVOURITE ANAK ANGKAT:

You all said that my mum is the most caring mum ever?? Well agree but not understanding. She don't understand her own daughter like she understand most of you. She would listen to your problem but not mine, she wont accuse you but accuse me because SHE IS NOT YOUR MOTHER WHO GAVE BIRTH TO YOU!

You don't live in the same roof like I did how would you know?? Anyway I appreciate for what she had done but I just cant take the way she treated me. All she sees in me are bad. Well she called me hypocrite, she even say I am lazy even though I do all the chores. Since she wants me to be that way, I'll be and I am sure god will definitely make me that way too.

Dusty Road That We Called Life

Sincere Repentance

Dilemma

Good OR Bad ?

Problematic world?? NO! We are!

Allah the ALL-MIGHTY!

Memories~

Sweet Couples

Wire all entangled;

I LOVE My Blog

Friends

Mum

Regret??

hi there are u attch???

hie!!noe me??they call me mr been there done that!!ahhaha....

Things Changing;

formspring.me

Trust Me, I'll Be Fine

13 Down and 2 More To Go

From the bottom of my heart;

Time Flies

What happened?

Circle & Hearts

BLOOP! BLOOP!

AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Snow City & Cousin Day Out

MOTHER TONGUE O LEVEL

Mother Tongue Coaching ;

D.E.A.D

SICK SICK SICK;

Self Righteous

Karma;

PICTURES!

AHHHCHOOO!

CPR!!

Lost Generation

Sadness Behind Those Smiles.....

~~~~~~~SILENCE~~~~~~~~~

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

Confused??

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME & SYED

AHHHCHOOOO!!! DUSTY!!!

WEEE!!! SWEET 18!!!

Out of Topic!!! HAHA!!

PLEASE..... ;

DOCTOR!!!!!!

UPDATES! SCHOOLS OUT!!! YAY!!

Can't Sleep

SELAMAT HARI RAYA!!

Baghban

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KEYREEN!!

Happy Teacher's Day!

Selamat Berpuasa!

CPR!// ~Just Great~

UPDATES! 160709, 210709

My Old Diary

Cute Video!

UPDATES! 030709, 040709, 050709

R.I.P // Childhood Memories Cannot Be Erased

3 POST TOGETHER!!!

SHHHHH.....

TEENS a.L.I.V.E CAMP!!

DK Trip;

Have A Safe Trip!// Personalities;

TIME FOR ME TO SHUT UP!!!

HISTORY CANT BE SEND!!! GAHH!!!

BIRTHDAY!!

Holiday Programme With Teens Alive

GOOD + BAD NEWS!!

Sinus! AHHHHCHOOO!!

Rough Day In School & Home;

You're Going?

Brother Planing To Get Engaged

Confusion

~SILENCE~~~